I was once tagged in a “Love your Spouse Challenge” on social media. I was supposed to post photos of me and my spouse for seven days, and tag two people every time I did so. It’s supposed to celebrate love and promote traditional marriage.
After five friends tagged me, I decided to put my own spin on the challenge. I posted a photo of Koots and me with this message:
“Challenge or changes, in virtual life and in real life, I love being married to this man! And what I stand for each day on what I post and what I do not post is how we love life and how we love each other!
Marriage is not only about connecting here. It is more about the daily connections, the grueling exchanges, the coping through the challenges of what life and love brings!
What are your challenges in marriage? We all have it. How are you dealing with those challenges? That’s what makes the marital bond stronger and life immensely richer!”
Phone Memory versus Inner Core Memory
Social media has become a place for ideals. You post about food, fun family time, your spouse, your kids’ activities, travels and whereabouts, and just about anything.
Yet, how many times have you sat down for a meal and laughed your hearts out over exchanges of stories and conversations with your family? How many times have you joined your child while he plays or watches a movie?
Some people are better at fixing their travel plans than managing their lives. When you travel, do you enjoy the place with your loved ones? How did you create special memories? Were they captured in your phone memory or your inner core memory?
When was the last time you and your spouse sat on a couch to just chat and cuddle? How have you been spending special time together? How are you handling issues in your marriage? Do you talk about your problems and slowly work on them? Or do you push them away under the rug, hoping it will go away?
Some people would rather post about marriage and family rather than work on them in real life. And that has become very obvious. Their social media posts so speak of perfection that it’s too good to be true. It seems to be saying: for photo ops purposes only.
Social Media Life versus Real Life
It’s time for a checkup! Is your social media life in congruent with your real life?
You need not rant or make your wall a documentary of how tough life is. But if you have issues with your spouse, rather than posting pictures of perfection, unplug and talk about it.
If your children are having behavior struggles, rather than comparing them with other children in your news feed, sit down and spend time to play with your child.
If you want to go somewhere with your family but you cannot, do not wish you’re elsewhere. Be with yourself at the present moment. Take a walk, have tea, sit down, and chat. Memories are created in the heart, not on a mobile phone’s memory.
Would you rather post photos of where and what your family eats or unplug from all gadgets and engage in real conversations?
Does being wired to social media make you envious and even irritable? Well then, between making virtual connections and nurturing real connections, it’s obvious that you should give more time to the significant people around you.
Love is not about what we post. Love is about what we do deliberately for the people we love every day!
Let me end with a quote from Prince Ea’s “Can We Auto-correct Humanity?”
“We sit at home on our computers measuring self-worth by numbers of followers and likes ignoring those who actually love us. It seems we’d rather write an angry post than talk to someone who might actually hug us. I’m so tired of performing in the pageantry of vanity. And conforming to this accepted form of digital insanity. Call me crazy, but I imagine a world where we smile when we have low batteries cause that will mean we’ll be one bar closer – to humanity.”
This article first appeared in Family Reborn 2016, but has since been updated.