Forgive for the right reasons.
Just forgive and forget.
Just say sorry.
Get it over and done with.
There are different ways of apologizing and forgiving loved ones. Some don’t apologize because they think they did nothing wrong. Others apologize to keep the peace. They feel bad for offending others and don’t want to be seen in a bad light. Others verbally apologize and humbly admit their mistake, but cannot forgive themselves.
How do you feel when you hurt someone intentionally or unintentionally? How do you deal with the pain of unforgiveness and rejection? Whatever your case may be, here are some points to consider on the importance of forgiveness.
1. Forgiveness brings inner peace.
Forgive from the heart. Forgiveness should be a choice—and not a choice of whether to forgive or not. Choose to forgive despite the pain. Choose to love and give yourself the gift of peace as you relinquish yourself from the hurt, grief, and frustration that sometimes happen in loving relationships. Forgive yourself and ditch the guilt of having hurt someone. Apologize and ask for forgiveness.
2. Forgiveness is essential in loving relationships.
Family relationships are rife with differences, concerns, and conflicts. There will never be perfection in family life. Despite being hurt by a family member, you do not necessarily need a confrontation to flesh out issues. If it is your turn to forgive, forgive because you want to make the relationship better. If the other person does not want to forgive, choose love. Love from a distance. Let go of control and know that you have released pain within you and you have good intentions to make the relationship better. Even if unpleasant, know that you did what is needed. You would also be free of angst and hurt.
3. Forgiveness is essential to growth.
Forgiveness is a process. You have a choice. You can stay in the process, and breathe in and out while reflecting on how the issue affected you. Staying in the process and allowing yourself to feel unpleasant emotions is as important as asking for an apology. If you keep looking at the other person or thinking of yourself as the victim, you may keep blaming the other party. This will only lead to unhealthy or even ugly results. Submitting yourself to the process of pain can change you. If it does not change you, it will eat you up—body, mind and spirit.
Forgiveness is not about who is right or wrong. It is not about who is superior or who is the underdog. Forgiveness is all about love. The right reason to forgive is because of your love for the other. The best person to forgive is the person who seeks the best for the other.
In my distress I called to the Lord, and he answered me. From deep in the realm of the dead I called for help, and you listened to my cry.–Jonah 2:2 (NIV)