When you’re stressed, what do you do? What happens to you? Do you take a pause or push some more?
When was the last time that you took a pause, as in leave whatever you have in your plate? Have you ever totally surrendered to the present moment without other thoughts fluttering in your head?
Does stress, taking a pause, and being in the moment have anything to do with each other?
Stress and the everyday
Pamela Hays, Ph.D., described stress as the internal feeling or condition when you believe that the demands of the situation you find yourself in is beyond your ability to cope. Stress is not about external things. It’s what happens to you because of stressors or matters outside of you.
Stress affects you physically, mentally, and emotionally. It also affects your relationships with yourself, with others, and even with God.
Your body is connected to your thoughts. Physiology is synchronized with psychology without you being aware of it. The best way to understand how stress is impacting you is to listen to your body. A pain, discomfort, infection, or disease is an opportunity to ask yourself: “What is my body telling me?”
Some time back, I experienced severe vertigo, sinusitis, tonsillitis, allergic rhinitis, and other ear-nose concerns for almost a year. In hindsight, I realized that not only was I working full-time as a school counselor, I was also finishing my master’s degree and raising a toddler with no household help. When my husband suffered from severe allergies, we found out that it was rooted in immune imbalance brought about by the demands of work and a growing family. We were also involved in marital fights due a deadlock in a major decision for our growing family which he never discussed with anyone. He became stuck and it manifested in his health condition.
Like others, we thought that not confronting issues would make them go away. We thought that we were sick simply because our bodies were weak. We popped pills hoping our sickness will go away, but never changed how we do and deal with things. We did not acknowledge that we were tired and were going through tough times.
Stress can cause a disconnect between the body and mind. When you’re stressed, you tend to overlook the fact that your body is absorbing everything. You get so caught up in the experience and hope that it will go away on its own.
Martha’s Pause
Remember Martha of Bettany? She seemed so distracted, troubled, and stressed as she was attending to too many things.
Have you become Martha? On how many occasions have you felt that nobody cares that you care? Have you ever reached a point that you want to rest, but you cannot because you need to do what you do? Have you become too anxious that if you don’t do it nobody will?
You are a human being, not just a human doing.
Stress brings disconnection of body and mind; pause connects it once again.
What would taking a pause and learning to be do for you?
Taking a pause is a deliberate effort to breathe and rest, and it works wonders. It is a chance for you to declutter the thoughts in your head and to be mindful of your psycho-emotional state.
Mindfulness is being present in the moment. It allows you to be aware of your state without judgment. It allows you to be more objective as you take a step back. After awhile, the more important matters surface and the unnecessary feelings dissipate.
Pause is self-care. It is not selfish to rest or give yourself to permission to be as it is needed for your well-being and sanity. To pause is temporary but knowing how to do it brings a multitude of benefits. When you go back to your tasks, you will be better at them.
The pause must be deliberately done. No one can make you pause except yourself. Your inner Martha of Bettany must learn to harness the power pause.
The Buddhist teacher Haemin Sunim said it best: “The world will keep turning even without you. Let go of the idea that your way is the only way, that you are the only one who can make it happen.”