Social media is an intrinsic part of a teenager’s life. At Magandang Buhay, a morning television talk show broadcast by ABS-CBN, I had the opportunity to share my views on teenagers and social media use last January 9, 2019.
It was a great way to start the year as I discussed this pressing issue alongside program hosts Karla Estrada, Melai Cantiveros-Francisco, and Jolina Magdangal-Escueta, all of whom are moms themselves.
It is not surprising to see teenagers holding their phones, engaged in their digital lives. Whether they’re at home, in public places, or almost anywhere else (sadly, even in church), they are lost in their own world.
Many parents with teenaged children are likely to be in their thirties and fifties. Like me, they grew up with no mobile phones. They didn’t go around carrying all sorts of gadgets with them either. It is understandable then that they may not understand how it is that their children could be on the phone all the time.
Let me share some insights on how we can begin to understand the social media usage of our kids, Generation Z.
FOMO! You read it right. FOMO means Fear Of Missing Out. During our discussion, we explained that Gen Z teens do not want to miss out on what is happening online. People our age call it OP, or out of place. Gen Z teens don’t want to be left behind. They want to know what’s happening in their network. They need to be updated all the time in real time. But while they’re not missing out on all the online action, they may not know everything that’s happening in the real world. This could be frustrating which is why we parents nag them to not be on their phones all the time!
If your teenagers are reluctant to add you in their social media platforms, or block you even, do not fret. At this age, they are building themselves up and testing the waters, and they would like to do so without the prying eyes of their parents. Rather than getting updates about them on social media, it is best for you to connect with them IRL – in real life. Spend time with them. Connect with them. Get the conversation started.
GROWING UP WIRED. Another issue that’s a struggle for parents to understand is that being online is a significant part of their teenagers’ lives. Most parents are likely to say: “Nung panahon naman namin, nabuhay kami ng walang ganyan…” referring to gadgets and the internet.
Parents must understand though that their children are actually wired the way they are. They are at home with technology, growing up with gadgets at their fingertips. Teenagers cannot fully empathize with their parents because they never experienced how it is to live without being connected. We parents may be partly to blame for getting them so wired. Thus, the first thing we can change is our perspective about who they are and the world they revolve in. Doing so would refrain us from comparing our adolescence to theirs, and see them as they really are. This beats constantly nagging them about how they spend way too much time online.
While it is a given that teenagers have digital personas and activities, it is our responsibility as parents to help them balance their online and offline lives. We can start by getting to know them better. If we take an interest on what they are doing both online and off, we have a common ground to share and connect with each other. More importantly, we cannot always be nagging at them, pointing out the negatives. We need to make ourselves interesting and accessible. If they don’t find any engagements at home, they’ll just go online. But if the people around them are interesting and interested in their lives, the possibilities for connection are endless.
To understand more about Generation Z, get a copy of the book I co-authored, Growing Up Wired: Raising Pinoy Kids in the Digital Age. While it was published first in 2013, it is relevant now more than ever. You may get the book at www.anvilpublishing.com, National Bookstore, Power Books. You may also send me a personal message if you want to purchase personally signed copies.
