June 19

Staying well amidst overwhelming loss

Some days can seem woefully overwhelming. That’s when it’s most important to take care of your well-being as those of your loved ones. Here are some simple and practical guidelines to do so: 

MENTAL SUPPORT

Some of us find it easier to shut down or turn a blind eye to what we are feeling. It’s easier to say, “Gusto ko good vibes lang” or “I want to take my mind off the problem.” While this is okay, it shouldn’t be our long-term go-to solution as it will only linger like a shadow that never leaves. The pain will always be there because we refuse to acknowledge its existence. We can only support our mental well-being if we acknowledge our new reality. We have to admit that we are in a painful situation every time we are. It is also not good to do comparisons when it comes to grief. Comparison can bring unnecessary feelings of jealousy and discomfort. It can steal your joy. Since we’re all online, limit your exposure to people you like. Have a social media detox. Follow only those who bring you joy and bring the best in you. 

EMOTIONAL SUPPORT

Stop being judgmental towards yourself and other people. Be kind. Practice self-compassion. Feel your feelings. We sometimes feel a certain level of guilt when we are reminded of how blessed we are. There’s also guilt that comes with feeling sad. But we’re all humans with a wide range of feelings. We owe it to ourselves to connect with our emotions. If you feel the urge to cry, allow the tears to fall. Crying is a sign that we are capturing our emotions. Tears are golden gifts that allow us to release and relieve ourselves so we can work on solutions after. Don’t bottle it up. It’s bound to burst if you do. 

PHYSICAL SUPPORT

Did you know that allergies are a physical manifestation of stress? Another common manifestation of grief is insomnia. Create practices that can help you sleep longer. Drink a cup of tea before bed. Light a candle and meditate. Take a long and relaxing bath. Limit screen time at night. In caring for your body, remember these three Ss: sleep, sunlight, sweat.

SOCIAL SUPPORT 

When our friends are going through a tough time, we can show our love and support by checking up on them, asking how they are, and maybe sending them food or gifts to encourage self-care. Observe boundaries, however. Don’t over-function for your loved ones. Allow them to go through their own process. Assurances go a long way too. Show your support by saying, “I’m here for you” or reminding them that you’re always only a message away.

SPIRITUAL SUPPORT

When praying and listening to faith songs fail to put you at ease, read the Bible or engage in devotion. I integrate my yoga practice with my Catholic meditation, and it has done wonders for me. I anchor myself in the knowledge that God has never forsaken me. We are all blessed with the resources around us. God is supporting us already. Let’s do our part in supporting ourselves. – WITH PAU DE VERA

Photo by Noelle Australia on Unsplash


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