Browsing through my social media feeds, I noticed a lot of people sharing posts about their family vacations. I smile at the thought of making so many memories in the family during these vacations—wherever they may be.
A friend of mine was having a difficult time dealing with her spouse and her teenage daughter. I asked her, “What happens during your family vacations? Isn’t it that you regularly go on family trips?” She said they may be together but do not really talk much. Her child is always on the phone and her husband simply goes along with her plans.
What is your top motivation behind your family trips? There are so many places to go to, sights to explore, adventures to experience, but let me ask: What makes a family vacation for you?
Is it seeing a new place? Is it spending time with the people you are with? Is it sharing this experience and forging bonds with the people you love most?
Last year, our family went on our longest vacation to date, 21 days of nothingness in another place. My husband and I planned that trip intentionally. Our main reason was to celebrate the many milestones in our family and have that intentional time with our growing kids.
These family trips are emotional investments for the family. It may seem lavish, but it depends on how you plan for it. Consider these trips as a way to build shared out-of-the-ordinary memories with together. I like to call them slow and flow trips. Here are some things to consider in having a slow-paced, longer lasting trip:
1. Curate your itinerary. Choose destinations relevant to your children’s age range. Go to where you think they will enjoy. You don’t have to book tickets to all the theme parks in the area. My son likes history, and so we bring him to places where he will gain a better understanding of the place. My daughter loves art, and so it’s art museums for her. This, for us, is going slow.
2. Traveling is education. Whether it is in the barrios of our country or in the cities of others, there is something for you and the kids to learn about the place. Talk to the kids about the place while you are traveling to or from it. Never miss the chance to take home noteworthy information from where you have been.
3. Have a free day to explore. Despite having a travel package, add a free day for your family. Have a meal at a local restaurant, enjoy dessert in a coffee shop, or check the neighborhood on your own. It will give you time to talk, connect, and catch up with each other. This is how you take things slow, enjoying the people more than the destination.
4. Let go of your itinerary, when needed. You do not need to fret about the weather, unforeseen conditions, tired feet, and missed places while traveling. Life happens. There maybe occasions when you have to let things flow and allow yourselves to experience what the circumstances have to offer.
In our recent trip, we moved from our host aunt’s home to an Airbnb condo unit in the city—something we did not plan. We made the most out of it by exploring the charming harbor at night, enjoying the big park nearby, letting the kids play at one of the city’s biggest playgrounds, and exploring Chinatown.
When we moved to another state, we enjoyed catching up with my uncle, playing with their dogs, staying up late, and sleeping in. Instead of going for a long drive one time, we were brought to a nearby town facing a bay. We had the pier and the beach almost all to ourselves for two hours, enjoying the cold weather while watching the sun disappear, the kids playing around, and my husband exploring the area with his camera. I was just staring at the bay and the sky. It was priceless.
These unexpected turns were the best parts of our trip. The bonus is that we were able to share it with the children and recall the places, the laughs, and unguarded moments we had there.
Family travel is not just about building memories. I consider it a way to test the dynamics of the family. It is a way to test how you have been connecting emotionally when you are with each other 24/7 for a number of days. It is a means to see if your priority is to see a new place or be with the people you are with. More importantly, it is a means for you to align as to what you all hold important, agree on matters, and work towards a common goal—and that is for the family to forge stronger bonds and relationship.
For your next travel plans, consider going slow and to flow, give your family relationships the time to connect with each other.
This article first appeared in Family Reborn, May 2018, but has since been updated.