Working as a guidance counselor in my child’s school has led me to observe the behavior of yayas waiting within the school premises while their wards are in class. They usually sit with other guardians while chitchatting and texting for hours, which leads me to wonder if they need to be there. As a mom, I thought: “What I would do if I were their employers? Would it be better if my child went to school on his own?”
Here are the factors to consider whether or not a yaya around is best for your child when going to school.
School rules
Most big and small schools do not allow caregivers to wait inside the classrooms or inside the campus. Caregivers are only allowed if they need to transact business at the office or if there is an official appointment with the teachers or administrators. If this is the case in your child’s school, there is less of a reason for yaya to stay in school the whole day.
Attachment
If your child tends to be clingy and wants to be with yaya all her waking time, slowly ease off the attachment by letting your child stay in school by herself. It would only cause more anxiety and create more of a power struggle if yaya is allowed to sit in class. Seek the teacher’s help in intervening for your child and trust that your child will be cared for in school, even if yaya isn’t there.
Independence skills
Next to the home, school is the best place to train children to be independent. Often though, when a child knows that yaya is around, it’s difficult to reinforce this training. When he can rely on someone to do things for him like carry his bag, tie his shoelaces, or, in some occasions, feed him, he’ll do exactly that. This means missing out on chances at being able to do things on his own and feel confident about it.
Social skills
He’ll miss out on the opportunity to socialize, too. If your child is on his own, he’ll get the chance to deal, bargain, cooperate, or even assert himself with other children. Being on his own encourages him to tap his inner resources and build confidence to develop social skills and self-empowerment.
Security reasons
With the crime rate in the country today, most parents fear for their child’s safety. They thus send an adult to go with their child to school. However, you must realize that you cannot keep your child sheltered at all times. Be in touch with the school administrators and learn about their policies and security measures for your peace of mind.
However, there are instances when having an adult go with your child in school is called for:
Your child has special needs
Your child has medical, physical, or even developmental needs that require help from an adult while in school. If this is the case, yaya’s tasks needs to communicated and explained in detail to her to ensure that she knows her purpose for being with your child in school.
You live far from school
For practical reasons, a child who lives far away from school may be accompanied by yaya to school.
Should you feel that it is absolutely necessary that your yaya be in school with your child at all times, consider the following:
1. Clarify her role and set rules on security, emergencies, and interacting with others. For instance, use of mobile phone, to do list, dealing with other yayas, gossiping, divulging information about your family, etc.
2. Give her a project like a finish cross-stitch pattern, do crossword puzzles, or read self-help books.
3. Assign her tasks that she can do like the grocery list, weekly menu, etc.
4. If capable, ask her to do small errands within the vicinity of the school like pay bills, buy something, have something fixed, etc.
5. Let yaya go to class herself. Some schools, barangays, or parishes offer vocational classes for free. If you enroll her in these, she can make good use of her free time.
In the end, allowing your child to be on his own will make him more skillful, confident, and ready for life. Yayas are there to assist, but should not do everything for him. What we can do as parents is to prepare him to learn life lessons and pray for their well-being.
This article has been updated, but originally appeared in Smartparenting.com.ph.