In the process of getting to know your partner, you should also discover new things about yourself as intimacy is personal. If you want to be more intimate, here are some questions to ask of yourself:
Are you accepting of your true self? Do you hide what you think and feel? A pattern that I notice among couples is that when they are in the process of achieving big life goals, they slowly drift away from their partner and forget to be intimate. The priority seems to shift to either their children or their personal goals. There seems to be a faulty unwritten assumption that it is no longer crucial to cultivate intimacy because you’re bound by marriage. In reality, intimacy is not going to keep itself; it is not magic. Intimacy asks us to self-disclose and open up.
Do you share your deepest thoughts and fears without fear of rejection? When you have an issue or concern that you wish to bring up to your partner, do so. Don’t go around asking for advice from multiple sources and leaving your partner the sole person in the dark. Secrets, especially if they begin to add up, are no longer healthy. Intimacy requires the sharing of the true self void from worries like, “What if my partner fails to understand? What if my partner gets angry?” Self-disclosure is possible only when you become honest with yourself and your partner. Sharing your true self can lead to an emotional understanding. To foster intimacy, don’t try changing your loved one. There shouldn’t be any pressure to mask one’s true colors.
Do you make room for growth and expansion in the relationship? Are you allowing yourself to grow to be a better person? Growth without intimacy is useless. It’s not going to be beneficial if only one person is growing. Both individuals should be improving as independent persons. Human beings are more than the relationships they keep.
Here are other ways you to foster intimacy with your partner:
• Accept your partner for who he is
• Respect each other. See him as a whole person. Mutual respect is critical in a relationship.
• Strive to make each other better. Encourage each other to become the best versions of yourselves.
• Support of each other especially in difficult moments. Emotional support is important because, in a marriage, bills are not the only things that should be shared. Couples also become partners in life’s blows and hardships.
• Share life. Share the shallow jokes, fun interests, and amusing stories. A relationship is often anchored in these shared activities. If you no longer have shared experiences, then what will bridge you? Will love, respect, or even trust be enough to salvage a relationship? All other good traits can thrive only when a shared interest is present.
• Be there for each other. Face life as a team.
• Communicate. This goes beyond everyday conversations. Share feelings, dreams, goals, anxieties, and personal stories. Connect. Many people are afraid to burst the bubble by talking about in-depth matters. But it is important to show who you are in your relationship. It is supposed to be your safe space.
Intimacy is being at home with your loved one. It is sharing your life with your partner, and fostering a deeper connection with him while deepening an understanding of yourself. – WITH PAU DE VERA
Photo by Everton Vila on Unsplash