New bags, shoes and school uniforms, books and pens, and maybe even a new school for some kids – everything’s set for the new challenges ahead.
But what about the kids themselves? Are they conditioned and equipped to deal with new teachers and classmates for the next 10 months?
How do they want the school year to be? Are there new goals the kids have thought of working on? Have you sat down with your kids and talked to them about these goals, along with study habits and rules?
“Recalibrating” means re-tooling and re-visiting what was done in order to see through improvements. As they start a new level in their academic path, this is the best time to do a SWOT (strengths-weaknesses-opportunities threats) analysis of what you need to work through in the following year.
In working with grade school children and some parents, I often explore their family context to see how they are helping the children. Two things that set the tone for the new school year: seeing it through or not having rules at all.
Some parents say they have rules and their kids follow. They seem to be the less problematic kids.
Other families do not have rules and parents only make them as needed or when they feel like it. This brings confusion and, at most they lack follow through and the kids cannot carry them out.
Some parents say, “We have rules, and we even listed them but the children would not follow.” They still do not work on their homework and use gadgets as they please.
The Missing Link
When parents made the rules and seem to just “mention” it to their kids, they are technically the owner of the rules. Their intention is good but effort is important. Parents need to check if set rules and helpful, realistic, workable, and understandable to the kids.
As parents, you need to sit down and discuss with your children what you aim to work on and what help they need from you. Present to them what you hope for them to accomplish and agree on how you both can find ways to work on their goals. Let them think, reflect, and share their opinion. This is how they become responsible for their goals.
This is actually recalibrating the rules and guidelines to help facilitate the completion of their goals. The goal of recalibrating is to help your children address their academic needs, maximize their potentials, and importantly gain the life tools they need for life.
Life tools? Yes, life skills are as important as math and reading. It’s like when we bring our car to the shop for recalibration, and the mechanic needs tools to fix whatever needs repair.
It may seem like our kids are too young to gain life tools, but the grade school age is the best time to equip them. They need their parents to train them rather than overly do things for them. While they need to have good academic training, they need to have life skills that are not discussed in books.
They gain the skills of decision-making and bargaining when you collaborate on ideas, discuss and negotiate on rules, and you give choices for them to decide on and take responsibility for.
The skills of persistence and discipline are ingrained during their uninterrupted practice in math and reading skills, as well as in doing pages of exercises.
The interpersonal skills are honed when they collaborate with classmates in group work or deal with different personalities in their class during recess and lunch.
The skills of self-reliance will only be enhanced if parents train them to review on their own without parent-made reviewers, fix their own school bags, and work on their school project – all with minimal assistance from us.
Help your children recalibrate for the new school year!
This article has been updated.