Becoming a speaker wasn’t a goal I dreamed of as a child. In fact, my roles in life weren’t something that happened instantly for me; even the role of becoming a mother was not a linear journey. As someone who experienced two miscarriages, I now realize that heartbreaks are what enabled me to become the kind of mother I am today—intentional, loving, hands-on, and appreciative. Motherhood is not something that I take for granted because of my early experiences. It is true then that what does not break you will make you.
Turning pain to purpose is a difficult but not an impossible feat. Here are six words to guide you through the process:
PONDER: Look at your painful experiences, acknowledge their severity, inspect them like wounds but do not wallow for too long.
PERSEVERE: When faced with difficulty and defeat, choose not to give up and push through with grit. All of life’s pains can be turned into a motivating force—an invisible push that proves we can overcome obstacles.
POSTURE: Check the posture of your heart. What is it yearning for? What does your spirit ache for? Align this with God’s posture and consistently choose to keep the faith. May your every movement be in accordance with His plan. Allow yourself to take part in His mission and work.
PEACE: Accept the things that you cannot change and do so prayerfully. Our pain can bring us peace because it helps us see clearly the things that aren’t meant for us.
POTENTIAL: Our pain can bring out our strength. It allows us to become a better person. If you are in a difficult position, realize that this pain can be grooming you towards a bigger purpose. The cliché no pain, no gain stands true.
PURPOSE: The difficulties that you have experienced can bring you closer to your calling. This will allow you to learn more about yourself as your experiences help you uncover what is and what isn’t meant for you. Allow this to become your compass as you find your space in this world.
In my book, “The Beauty of 40: Unwrapping the Gift of Midlife,” I wrote a relevant quote that would be fitting in this discussion. It says, “while life is not fair, our God is. He is limitless. He is always in control.” Learn how to let go. Understand that some events are just beyond your comprehension.
When you get hurt, heal with Him. The late Steve Jobs also reiterated, “You can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backward. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever.”
I suspect that the “whatever” at the end points to God who helps us unlock the purpose behind every pain. As you take the time to heal, check your anchor. Try to make sense of the pain, but don’t overthink things. Grow from your experience. Eventually, you might thank these experiences for shaping you into becoming the best version of yourself. – WITH PAU DE VERA
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