I once heard that “motherhood really starts when you become a mom of two.” While the joys are exponential, so are the assertions and bargaining, the laughing and whining, the energy and the meltdowns.
What’s unique about this stage?
Is about innocence and learning. When my daughter was six and my son nine, I was amazed at their insatiable curiosity and their boundless energy. They were always trying to connect the pieces of information that they have gathered. They had a lot of “Oh, that’s why!” and “I didn’t know that!”
A child’s character unfolds at this stage. As mothers, we are to teach them the basics of life and the values that are important to our family as well as build their confidence.
They are learning to assert themselves, their preferences, and their own viewpoint. But after their attempt at being competent, they still look to us for counsel. While these exchanges can be exhausting (particularly, if two or more little humans are doing this at the same time), it’s a magical time to understand how they think and watch as their level of confidence unfolds.
When kids start showing signs of independence, when their baby fat disappears and they want to be on their own often, the normal tendency of parents is to secure our emotional bond with them. We have to assure them of their worth, their uniqueness, and their importance to us.
The mothering challenge
We need to be aware of their changing needs and interests. While we want to develop them well and instill the proper discipline skills they need, we also have to be mindful that they are developing their individuality, which is still fluid.
We need to align our priorities and realities. Matters unfold differently each day. Despite set routines, we should be able to tell when stricter rules should apply or when our kids are just looking for extra attention from us.
We also need to take care of our inner person as mothers. It sad that many women – with the intention of giving their best as moms – forget to take care of themselves and have lives of their own apart from their kids. To be better moms, it is not selfish to give ourselves a regular dose of self-care so that we can be better persons and caregivers of our kids and family.
When you are at your wits’ end, choose your battles well. Before you become the referee of your children’s squabbles, pause and reflect if it will be good if you are doing it for them and if it is helpful for all. You might be surprised to know that they can manage their battles by themselves and you can keep your sanity intact.
Mothering young kids can take us by storm. Before we know it, our kids will be bigger than us and would not need us as much attention from us as they do.