Much is expected from mothers. Mothers are not only expected to be always at their best, they are also looked upon as role models.
But more than what society expects, it may perhaps be better to reflect on your own goals as a mother without stepping over your children’s goals for themselves. Our children’s lives are not ours to live. It’s a truth we have to acknowledge and accept .
Here are some other truths that we need to recognize:
- We all have our tendencies: We have our own personalities and instincts. Reflect on your tendencies and that of your children’s. More often than not, these would be different. Understanding tendencies is important so we may nurture each one’s potential.
- We all have our tapes: These are our internal recordings. These pertain to how we were conditioned and nurtured. For example, some of us may have been brought to be always neat and tidy. Because these scripts often lie in our subconscious, we are often unaware of them. Many of these tapes are brought about by our upbringing.
- We all have our timelines: These pertain to developmental stages and expectations. There is a tendency to compare one child’s timeline to another’s. While it’s good to be aware of developmental stages and age-appropriate goals, don’t be consumed by these. Each child develops at his own and pace. Don’t compare timelines.
- We all have our troubles: We all have our concerns. Don’t view the motherhood journey from the lens of your Instagram feed. Not all of that is real. Motherhood is beautiful amidst all its troubles.
The truth is that my children are not my children. They were only lent to me by the Lord. My role as a mother is to nurture them. My children’s lives are theirs to own and live. I would respect whatever decision they would choose for themselves.
We are sometimes too protective. We don’t want them to struggle too much. We don’t want them to be challenged. Our hearts grieve when they have to go through difficult situations. But it is through these challenges that our children are able to learn and build themselves up. If we shield them from life’s worries, they will miss golden opportunities for learning. They will not grow.
As mothers, we are subjected to all types of societal pressures. Protect your sanity. Subscribe only to those aligned with your values. Nurture your motherly wisdom. Motherhood is imperfect. Release yourself from the pressure of pleasing the world and leading your life according to the standards of social media. These are but external. Anchor yourself from within. – WITH PAU DE VERA
Photo by Tamara Bellis on Unsplash