Ralph Waldo Emerson said it well: “Happiness is a perfume. You cannot pour it on others without getting a few drops yourself.”
In the family, giving our love and service is inevitable. We are called to pour the perfume — the gift of ourselves — unto others to fill their cup and even their plate.
Yet many times, we overlook the fact that our service is the result of having our cups full. Our service is an overflow of our loving relationship with God and with ourselves. We want to fill ourselves with the love of God so we can love and give more to others. Any adult, married or single, has a responsibility to care for the person whom they often take for granted: the self.
We cannot run on an empty cup when there is a need to care for others every single day. How is your service and love cup? Is it full or running empty? Moms like me get cranky when there are too many demands at home and from the children. Dads get tired, too, so they tend to distance themselves sometimes.
Here are some realistic ways on how you can fill your cup — mind, body, and spirit — so you can serve your loved ones more:
PAUSE. If you are physically dwindling and tired, do not feel guilty to pause. Skip cooking a meal or don’t finish your to-do lists. Your physical rest is more important. As much as you want the best for your family, a pause and willingness to let go of some things that are not a matter of life and death can do wonders. Pausing can help not only your body, but may also declutter your emotions. It can clear your mind and give you a sense of being refreshed.
MOVE. Prioritize these three important things: sleep, exercise, and a good diet. These may seem simple, but they are the more difficult forms of self-care. I began to do yoga four years ago when I started feeling lethargic. I lacked energy as early as 4 p.m. I took time off about twice or thrice a week to take yoga classes.
My motivation was to feel good, strong, and healthy to keep up with my two growing kids. It brought wonders for my body, health, and well-being. Sleeping early, doing an exercise routine, and eating healthier options require you to move well. Needless to say, these should be done deliberately.
RETREAT. Yes, retreat and step back. You need to have time for yourself only. See what works for you and do it consistently and mindfully. It may be a morning Mass, a quiet time at home, eating comfort food by yourself in non-peak hours in a café, a walk in the village, or just being outside to stare at the sky. We need these “nothing” or “alone” moments to connect with ourselves. I like going to a coffee shop and writing my to-dos and reflections in my planner while having my favorite coffee. I don’t feel guilty. I feel on top of my life and connected to God as I read from my Bible reflections. When our thoughts are clearer, we feel we have more to give and we have aligned our priorities well. A retreat literally fills our cup full.
Let go of guilt. In order for you to serve more and love more, your cup of love from within you and our God must overflow.
Enjoy the pause, the move, and the retreat so you can be more empowered to serve!