In the same way that your personality is different from people you know, you should remember that members of your family are also different from you. Comparisons are never helpful and hardly ever provide added value. People cope with stressors differently which means what may not affect you can impact other people. So today, I am providing you with three easy steps in an easy to remember acronym – ALT – when you need an extra boost on how you can be a better family member for your loved ones.
- Awareness: When you feel tired or sick, how do you remedy the situation? Do you address the symptoms or find the root of the problem? Popping a medicine is an easy fix but try to identify what made you sick in the first place. Prevention is better than cure. And I’ve always believed that the better we understand our bodies and triggers, the better the quality of relationships we form with ourselves. In the same way, when people around us react or say something undesirable, we should stretch our powers of understanding. We shouldn’t take everything at face value. Read between the lines to become more sensitive, caring, and understanding.
- Listening: When we listen, we should do it with an open mind and heart. We lend our ears not only to what is being said but also to signals the other person is giving. The challenge is not to comment so quickly but to allow the person to just be. It is diving deep into the richness of their experience and being present in the moment with whatever emotion they are feeling whether it is joy, grief, or frustration. By being in the moment, we can turn listening to something more worthwhile and valuable for everyone.
- Thoughtfulness: Caring acts communicate love to our family. This goes beyond remembering special events and birthdays. This is love communicated through action and initiation. Bringing your loved one a cup of coffee while he’s busy at work or buying your child’s favorite food for delivery are just two of the many ways you can show you care.
Of these three words, which do you find most challenging to live out? It is when we are in our most humble state that we can manage everything. And to be in our most humble state, we are tasked to also be honest with ourselves. It is only when we strive to build connections with each family member that healthy pillars of well-being can also be built and maintained. The well-being of one family member affects that of all others. So I hope that you’ll strive to be more accountable for your actions and decisions to positively impact the mental health of your loved ones. What’s one thing that you want to improve on and how do you wish to do this? Feel free to let me know in the comments section! – WITH PAU DE VERA