Let’s be honest. Not everything that we pick up from our families are good. We wish they were all good, appropriate, or fitting for us. However, there are some that we feel do not fit us or seem right for us. Other times, we don’t understand why we need to agree with them.
Your parents are supposed to be your mentors and coaches in forming loving relationships outside the home. They are, but they also have imperfections.
When I was young, I heard these words from our youth leader during a family retreat: “My fellow youth, let us give our due respect and bear with the differences we have with our parents. In a few years, we will be on our own and we will make our own decisions. While we are still with them, let us give them their due despite our differences.”
This helped me change the way I deal with issues that my parents and I disagree on. When we have differences in our opinions and ways with our parents, here are some things to remember:
- They are my parents. They want what is best for me despite our differences.
- I owe them respect and love even if they express those differently.
- If I cannot change or correct some of their ways, then I do not need to fight them off. I can follow my belief and do things better with my future family.
- I cannot change how they are, but I can change how I deal with them. This is a sign of maturity.
- They are my family. From them, I get the best practices and leave those that are not good for my well-being.
Make your family your mentor by picking up strengths and values that are life-giving and enriching. Otherwise, accept and love them, and do better when you enter adulthood.
This article originally appeared in Fish magazine Volume 16, but has since been updated.