Social media has an abundance of carefully curated posters and quotes about reminding readers to be optimistic, happy, and grateful. While the intention behind these positive postings are good, is it really so bad to feel blue? We need to be wary because, in the pursuit of joy, we should not be sugarcoating our real emotions, especially if they are negative.
Sugarcoating would be to settle for a Band-Aid technique instead of truly mending the wound. Too much positivity can be toxic. Instead of toxic positivity, we need to be realistically positive. Toxic positivity is turning a blind eye on the issue and addressing every difficult concern by being positive and joyful. To be realistically positive is to recognize and acknowledge the negative feeling and to learn how to be resilient in the process. Resilience is to go through life despite the difficulties and adversities. This is choosing to move forward despite all the challenges. Resilience is beautiful because it is choosing to grow through the crisis instead of simply going through it.
So what are concrete steps that we can take to help us grow from this crisis?
#1 SEE THE BIGGER PICTURE. Don’t get too stuck up on your emotions. Yes, they are valid but looking at the bigger picture can provide a fresh perspective. If you’re sad about not being able to go out or losing a trusted go-to routine, remember that by staying in, you’re contributing to a bigger cause which is flattening the curve. This virus is not only about you.
#2 BE OPEN TO NEW IDEAS AND FEEDBACK. Too often, we get used to our ways. Whether it is a specific way of doing things, a routine, or standard, we have built a consistent pattern or way of doing things. Quarantine season pushes us to be creative and to go outside of the box we have been living in for so long. There are some things that we have been doing pre-quarantine that are no longer helpful or applicable to our current situation. Hence, we have to be open to creating new standards and possibilities. Being able to adjust with the times is a mark of a resilient person.
#3 SEEK HELP. Delegate tasks and do not try to do everything for everyone around the house. Try to set realistic expectations for your family members in accomplishing these tasks and set consequences accordingly. Choose to face the mundane and the big things as a family.
#4 SPEND ME TIME. This does not call for more Netflix time but a chance to be with one’s self to cultivate time to reflect. It can take form in solitary walks, reading and reflecting on books, and writing down realizations. Whatever this is, make it an activity that allows for the reconnection with the inner self.
#5 ENRICH YOUR RELATIONSHIPS. This gives us the opportunity to show that we care about the people we hold dearest but also recognizing when to step back and how to step back when situations become too intense.
#6 DEVELOP CONTINGENCY PLANS. If your original plan does not work as you imagined, be okay with it and proceed to your other plans. A resilient person has contingency plans and does not get stuck with only one way of doing things. Develop the art of flexibility as this will also bring about secondary strengths such as creativity and resourcefulness.
#7 PRACTICE PROACTIVE SELF-CARE. This is choosing not to take your body for granted. This means choosing to care for it even when it is feeling well through exercise, a healthy diet, or being proactive about boosting your immune system. We are responsible for our own bodies and nobody is tasked to care for it aside from ourselves.
#8 CONSERVE YOUR ENERGY. Choose where your energy goes. Do not get stuck up on things for too long as these will only have a depleting effect. We all have the power to choose where our energy is going to go and have the power to be purposeful and discriminating in these choices.
#9 USE POSITIVE SELF-TALK. When we make mistakes, we should be mindful of how we talk to ourselves. Are we compassionate and kind? Are we forgiving? This is allowing us to feel bad and choosing the conscious effort to still be good to ourselves despite our imperfections and shortcomings. It is not indulging in being one’s meanest critic and biggest unforgiving monster.
#1O PRACTICE GRATITUDE. Look for something to be grateful for. Whatever the situation, this is choosing to tweak one’s perspective in order to be more aware of the good and the blessings.
I would like to end this post by reminding all of us about the beautiful quote, “We don’t only go through this crisis; we grow through this crisis.” So I invite you to be thankful for new beginnings, new opportunities, and the new changes that life gifts us with every day. As scary as the current crisis may be, we can grow and learn so much from being more attuned with ourselves. There is also beauty that comes with noticing the blessings that we are still fortunate to witness every day. While we may be feeling the blues, I believe that we also have the capacity to break through the blues. — WITH PAU DE VERA