Regardless of the time and circumstance, motherhood is a role that one cannot simply toss out. We have the power to walk out from relationships and situations when they become too uncomfortable, but motherhood is not one of those roles. It’s no easy feat indeed! Plus, the mental workload that mothers have to carry is something that’s especially exhausting during this quarantine season.
A happy mom makes a happy family. So today would be about checking the well-being of the mothers.
Hey Momma! Here are some questions for you…
What is your current reality? How is your every day like? What are your daily challenges? Goals? What is in your to-do-list? Are these daily tasks and realities aligned with your current goals? They should be. If they aren’t, pushing yourself to accomplish all these may lead to burnout. In whatever you do, I hope you find value and meaning in it, so you can pour your heart without becoming depleted.
What roles are you currently juggling? Are you a work-from-home-mom and a full-time mom and wife? Moms are known to be wearing a number of hats all at the same time but even when you may only be wearing one hat- the mom hat- it doesn’t mean it’s all easy. Are you conscious of the many roles you’re currently juggling? Are you happy with the way you’re juggling all these tasks or are you slowly burning out? Please pause and take a bit of time for yourself to really assess how things have been for you.
What kind of mom are you? Are you a multitasking mom? A know-it-all mom? A Google mom who seems to have the answer for any question? A service-oriented mom, who is devoted to her kids? I hope that whatever role you choose to embrace, you do it out of self-choice, love, and willingness and not because that is what people expect of you. Do you do it because it was ascribed to you? Do all things with heart, willfully and consciously. Sometimes to be the best person you can be is a beautiful goal on its own.
In relation to your role, what kind of life scripts have you been ascribing to? A life script is another term for internal programming. These scripts are like tapes; those that contain our unconscious thoughts, patterns, and beliefs of how the world works, how we work, and how we are as individuals. How do these scripts influence and affect you? Which among your scripts are helpful in this present moment?
What kind of rules are you implementing at home? Most of the rules that we use in our homes maybe the very same things that we grew up following. These are what have been programmed in us.
Remember though that rules are external to us. They are unconscious, so it is safe to assume that the way we behave towards our loved ones is a result of how we were brought up. Are you aware of this? Some of the rules we grew up may not be applicable to our children. They are different human beings growing in a different time, culture, and societal expectations. In the same manner, the rules we used to live by pre-ECQ may no longer be applicable to our current situation.
You maybe be someone who demands everything to be clean and spotless. But now that everyone is at home, that standard is quite impractical.
Constantly evaluate and re-evaluate. Check if your expectations are fair. Are your standards achievable? When your children commit a misgiving, are you forgiving? When our loved ones disappoint us and we react to it negatively, are we angry with our loved one or are we projecting our anger and exhaustion to them? When you find yourself thinking of the what if’s, if only, and why me, take a deep breath and smile. Let it go. Sometimes letting go is a simple fix that can bring about a more peaceful life. Choose this path. When you ask favors from family, be clear with your wants and instructions, the less room there is for miscommunication, the better the outcome and the lesser the chance of unnecessary stress and conflict.
Make an effort to prioritize self-care and minding your well-being as this will equip you into becoming the best mother you can be. Motherhood 2.0, after all, is more than about upgrading our physical selves through good diet and exercise; the bulk of it is upgrading our mindsets. When we upgrade our mindset, we flow better with circumstance and tread with life’s demands better. – WITH PAU DE VERA
Photo by Andrea Piacquadio from Pexels