Family Goals: Parenthood’s Progress and Purpose
Goal #5: Raise Digital Citizens with a Balanced Online and Offline World
“No one can replace the role of relationships, not even gadgets! And if we are not positive parents to them, they would just be engaged in their online lives rather than with us!” – Michele A.
Sila na! Sila na ang Gen Z! Those kids who grew up with literally everything”ng at a tap of their fingers! Download, buffering, Minecraft, Spotify, IG, IKR, LOL and all are part of their digital lingo! And just because I talk a lot about managing digital use among kids does not mean, I do not let them use gadget or abstain from tech use! In my family, we believe that balance is key! And our struggle is real too! We are super frustrated because we are merging in the digital age, the mindset and ways of us, Gen Xers with that of the Gen Zs. How would you call from analog phone to call via Messenger?
So we always get questions from our two growing GenZ’s:
* Why can’t I have FB or messenger yet? Why can’t I have my own mobile phone?
* Mom, can I have gadget time? Can I download a new game? Can we buy that new toy I saw in the video?
Of course we have reasons for not allowing them all that the digital world has to offer! Thank God Koots and I are in sync in dealing with such matters with the kids. We try our best to collaborate and implement to the kids how they can navigate the online world, while finding joy and fulfillment in the real world! What are the points we stick to?
* It’s supposed to be developmentally appropriate for my kids! They cannot have too much of something that will imbalance their development, like FB, RPGs and videos with adult content.
* For us, balance is having real play, real interactions, real life learning, topped with some time for gadget use. It is part of their world indeed, yet we don’t want them to define their world alone through it!
* We still have to be the one to help them manage! If we do not give limits, oh my, they will have unli gadget use! If we do not ask them to stop, they will not put it down simply because online life is addicting! Hindi ako magrereklamo na ayaw nilang tumigil mag-gadget. We tell them it is a reward or a privilege rather than their right! Since we parents are the ones buying the gadget, and paying for their connection… well, then are are the ones supposed to be helping them manage! Kaya nga parenting in the digital age, is learning to say no, not giving too much, and giving both – online and offline rules and responsibilities!
Remember that when we unplug, it is possible for us to experience, engage and enrich our lives through the real world, and real person-to-person encounter!
It is not easy, but we know if we are mindful of our kids, attending to their needs, connecting to them emotionally, despite the differences, difficulties and demands they may have! We still have to be the positive influencers for our children so they will feel they can turn to us no matter how less engaging we are, but more loving more than anyone online! At the end of parenthood, the relationships remain despite being in the digital age!
Do you struggle? Do you give gadget time with limits? Or gadget time limits your family connections?
Give both love and limits!
Allow gadget use yet teach gratitude for things in the real world!
Help kids thrive, not only survive in the digital age!