Kamusta ka sa lahat ng pinagdadadaanan mo ngayon?
How have you been from last year to now? Can you believe that we’ve been in this lockdown situation for more than a year? Though we’ve spent most of our time inside our homes, we have changed somehow. If anything, I hope you have become more resilient, in particular emotionally resilient.
Rate yourself from 1 to 5, how are you now? How have you been navigating life’s difficulties? Would you consider yourself thriving or merely surviving?
Going through difficulties is a normal part of life. What will help you become more resilient is your ability to sit down, learn, and process your situation. Don’t deny or push down negative feelings. Be honest with yourself. Negative emotions have something to teach us as well. You also need to be weak and vulnerable at times. You are, after all, human.
How can you be more emotionally resilient? Here are some guidelines
1 BE FLEXIBLE
In yoga, my teacher says, “Flexibility is not a requirement for yoga. It is a result of constant practice.” You don’t become the person you are because you were born that way. Experience shapes character. Flexibility lets you flow with the moment. It is accepting the way things unfold for the way they are. It is important to be aware of the things you can be flexible in. There are lessons to be learned from so called “inconveniences.” It may be time to leave old ways to make way for new habits.
2 ACCEPT DISCOMFORT
Discomfort is a teacher. Admit that you’re having a hard time. Uncomfortable situations bring uncomfortable emotions. Let them. This will teach us to work towards making something uncomfortable more comfortable.
3 BE OPEN TO LEARN
Are you open to learning from negative situations? Do you only find learning opportunities from good occasions? Some mistakes allow you to refine your intentions and improve your spirit. Consider mistakes as a gracious teacher.
4 STRIVE FOR BALANCE
Do you make an effort to balance being at the moment and stepping back? Do you try to balance what you are feeling with what you are thinking? Do you balance your inner life with your outer life?
When February started, I sat more deliberately for personal reflection. I wanted to see God’s direction for me more clearly. I wanted to be mindful of everything happening. I wanted to hear the Lord’s voice clearer so I can allow him to paint my year. Stepping back is not a sign of weakness as it allows us to reboot and recharge.
So ask yourself: How are you becoming flexible? In what aspects of your life have you become more flexible? How are you in accepting discomfort? What did difficult experiences teach you? What has the pandemic taught you? Most importantly, how did all these change you as a person?
5 CHOOSE TO BE SELF-COMPASSIONATE
Be pro-you! This is knowing when to say, “Right now, I need to be for myself. I need to choose myself.” Choose yourself first in the midst of a stressful situation. You can do so, for example, by walking away from an ugly discussion. Doing so is not rude; it is choosing to protect your well-being! It’s also about living in the moment and honoring your moments of pause and rest. Whenever I go on a vacation, I choose to disconnect. I also tend to be picky about the calls and emails that I wish to take. Doing so is not selfish. The more we have for ourselves, the more we can share ourselves with others. Being self-compassionate is also choosing to celebrate the little joys of life simply because it makes your life more worthwhile! For me, this comes in the form of looking forward to the smell and taste of coffee, receiving and giving hugs from family members, and indulging in reading.
6 EMBRACE CHANGE
Embracing change allows you to move your power and energy. Such movement allows you to adapt to the new circumstance that you are in. Sometimes the movement towards doing something new is the push we need to maximize our strengths and resources. Change is not only something that we should extend towards ourselves. It is also something we need to practice towards the things that we have no control over.
7 BE GRATEFUL FOR THINGS BIG AND SMALL
Verbalize your appreciation for the small things your family does. Whenever you notice these simple things, speak up and let them know. Sometimes it is hard for us to admit that we are looking for validation and appreciation from others and for many of us, it’s because being vocal is not part of our culture. But choose to be an appreciative individual because it can foster a culture of kindness. It can encourage and inspire the people around you to be more appreciative. As you do this for others, don’t forget to appreciate yourself. When you start doing so, you become more content because you also give yourself the love and appreciation that you deserve.
8 SURROUND YOURSELF WITH SUPPORTIVE PEOPLE
How do you know that you’re with supportive individuals? It feels as if you’re growing. You feel energized to be around them. They bring out the best in you. In the same way, choose not to tolerate things that only drain and exhaust. If you’re following people on social media who seem to only zap out and drain the good in you, hit that unfollow button. Protect your well-being.
9 GET HELP
Some people who find asking for help embarrassing. Others don’t like feeling vulnerable. But please do not wait for life to hit you terribly! Get help. You don’t even need experts, sometimes you simply need a soul to empathize with you. I have come to realize over time that I am also resilient, thanks to the people who have walked me through.
Resilience is growing in calm, strength, and joy. In your journey to resilience, I hope you continue to flourish in your work as you allow the Lord to work in your life. – WITH PAU DE VERA
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